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.Tuesday, September 25, 2012 ' 4:20 PM l
It's been two months I work as a trainee dealer currently still waiting for my license to be approve by CRA . Times inside training is like a story book. New batch of trainees came in, a new chapter starts. When they passed all their tests and received their license that when the chapter end . As for me I played various of roles here. Some times as a tutor some times as a translator for trainees who can't speak English some times I'm a motivator for people wIth low moral and last a guy wfellas a crush but had no confidents in relationship .Well This chapter which is about to end I took the role of a listener, a tutor as usually, a muscle and last the guy who had a crush . Enjoyed the times with them . Some Had passed their final test while some failed and some resigned . So today my role for this chapter is about to end . Time for them to move on to the next level and face new challages . Let's see how's the next chapter gonna be and what kind of role am I gonna be.

loved





.Wednesday, July 11, 2012 ' 1:52 AM l
My family was made up of a sick but never gives up father, a weak physical but strong heart mother, a young inexperience brother and a stubbornly stay strong but fragile heart me. Home back then was nothing but a place for me to sleep. Family wasnt important and i got freaking tired of their nagging and scolding. Always saying why did i had sure a stupid family. Whenever my parents will to scold me or something advise me i will definitely start a quarrel with them. Throwing my temper around showing attitude to them without fail. Saying hurtful words that made both of them cry. Worse still i tired to pick a fight with my dad who was sick. Back then i gotten so rebellious and always doing the opposite way from what my parents wants. My day and night were mixed up totally. Spend lesser time at home and more time outside either working or slacking. Back then im always hunger for enjoyment and thrill in life. Always doing stupid stuffs that will cause us troubles with my friends during the night. Back then i neglected their care for me their love for me and in the end i made lots of mistakes in life and even landed myself inside hospital. Wasted a lot of time doing meaningless stuff that gains me nothing. Back then i was useless teenager who rebel and neglected my family. Im 22 this year, just finished serving NS in SCDF, during this time in SCDF i faced dangerous incidents that nearly cost my comrades or my life. Landed myself inside hospital because of mistakes. During those time in SCDF i faced family problems, relationship problems and friendships problems. At that point of time i couldnt find anyone to talk to, i lost sight of my path and cant think of anything to pull myself back. I never dare to talk to my family about my problems and how bad i am feeling because im scared to show them the weak side of me. I always put a very strong me in front of them but i kept every pain in my heart. During those times my family never stop caring for me and never stop worrying for me. Eventually they still found out that im feeling bad inside. They stay by my side helping me out on my relationship and my friendships. We stay by each other side facing our very own family problems. I never realize that they really cared for me a lot and loved me that much after so many mistakes i done so many bad things i made and so many disappointment i gave to them. They never gave up on me no matter what i had done before. They were always there for me when i need them just that i closed my eyes and heart on them. Recently i faced a hurtful relationship which totally scared me out. I was so freaking down till i had no courage to face it at all and was totally demoralize by it. My family never fail to stay by my side trying their best to cheer me up. When im feeling down they are feeling down too. When i cried so hard, they are crying too. But all this action they made was not shown to me because they wants to cheer me up. They hided their pain away so that it wont makes me worse. Right now im working at MarinaBaySands as casino dealer. Currently attending their course to train me to be a dealer. Whenever i reached home from work, i will always see my dad waiting for me to reach home and a sentence of concern asking me how's today? Am i tired ? While my mother will definitely wake up from her sleep to ask me whether im hungry or not. Both of them are gonna work the next day but yet they still stay up late or even wake up from their sleep just to concern about me. Home right now is no longer a hotel like how i used to be. Home now is a place when i relax myself totally after work, feeling of being cared and loved, smiling as the sun rise in the morning. Home a place when i cried so hard but will always had someone to stand beside me telling it's alright. Home is where i felt warm and happy because my family is with me staying there. I can never felt any more comfortable outside than HOME . The End

loved





.Friday, July 06, 2012 ' 1:21 AM l
Back in this blog again ^^ The reason why im here is because there are no other way to express how i feel at this point of time. All i had to say is I WANTS YOU BADLY. But i dont know how you felt towards me... I dont even know if the time is right. All i plan to do was to let fate decide and bought me to you... I can remember clearly that fateful day i met you. That fateful day was My first time experiencing Love at First Sight. I rmb how i approached you and the replies you gave. I remember how you treated me in our relationship. But somethings just left me confused and that was a sudden changed from you. Oh well i told you once before it's hard for me to find another girl who understand me that well like you do. Years had pass and the feelings are still the same. I fall in love too fast, care too much and get hurt most of the time. But no matter what had been happening, every now and then im still thinking about you. Hoping for a chance just a chance to make things right with you. Oh well i just goes on working hard to achieve my goals and be a responsible person. And wait for that moment to come

loved





.Saturday, October 22, 2011 ' 3:40 PM l
You turn back to look at me in the end . But you didn't choose to walk back to me yet . You told me that you had complerely given up hope on me . I don't understand at all . I don't know how to make a choice now . All I wants was the best for you that all . You have suffer long enough . Please make a decision . At least I know what I should do .

loved





.Friday, October 21, 2011 ' 1:26 AM l
I can see you are finally making a move . Finally stepping out from there . Continue moving . Don't turn back alright . I will be moving off soon . I'm sorry for my anger . I'm sorry for neglecting you . I'm sorry for not giving you any cares this while . I'm sorry I always blame you for anything . I'm sorry baby girl . Now it's time for you to move off . Don't hold back . Be brave and go . I will be alright being alone here believe me . I will be watching you for a while before I move off . Please consult a doctor soon . Stop being so stubborn . Sorry to make you suffer . I'm just not that type of boyfriend . I'm so sorry . I failed to give you a name in the end . I LOVE YOU

loved





.Thursday, October 20, 2011 ' 3:14 PM l
My baby girl . Just keep looking forward and walk . Please don't look back at me because it makes me even more not willing to let you go . Do you know why I never make any actions about having a new relationship ? Because I will rather cry on my own without having you doing the same . I'm just waiting for you to move forward to a new relationship . I have put my hardest front already and thats my limit I believe . So now move forward don't look back at me anymore . You're doing good my dear baby girl . Just keep moving, I'm alright just a few tears dropping down from my face . A few cuts that hurts my heart that all . But I know this is the best for you . Please take care alright ? So now go on doing what you are doing now . All the best for your studies :D Lastly I really LOVE you .

loved





.Tuesday, July 12, 2011 ' 4:33 PM l
I guess he is still angry at me about that incident . Feeling depress to face the facts after sure a long friendship . I know that incident did cause a lot of troubles and problems but i'm not the one creating it and i don't wish that to happen too . Yes i know that it was my girlfriend who create it but it doesn't mean it's my fault also . Some thing is just out of my control . I don't even know who can i talk to now . Speaking to my girlfriend will only cause misunderstanding and quarrels afterall it's partly her fault that this incident was created . In fact i'm very angry about this matter and her . But what can i do ? Quarreling with her or breaking up with her can't solve anything . Talking to her can't really give me peace . Talking to some friends but they don't seem to understand . Haish . Anger is rising, getting depress . Even now feeling stress which i don't even know what i am stressing about .

loved







EMO PROFILEi

Name: Claudius
Age: 18+
1St CRY: 06/06/1990
Horoscope: Gemini
School: Ex-Lian Hua Pri, Ex-Yusof Sec, Ex-ITE WEST(Bukit Batok, YMCa(Private School)
Hobbies: Singing, Bball, Computer, Going Out & EMO-ING
Fav Colours: Sky Blue, White & Black
Msn/Hotmail: claudius_999@hotmail.com
About Me: I'm Crazy & Emo. Love to Jokes and cheer people up.


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